It all started with a Hong Kong-style Chinese dinner as the first date. Then came the ballet (Red Shoes) where he arrived carrying an umbrella because the forecast called for rain and he didn’t want me to get wet. Next was the boozy lunch that lasted so long my girlfriends were alternating between jealous and worried sick texts. Then the afternoon spent on his boat exploring the waterways, the dive bars and a quiet cove followed by dinner (steaks on the grill) that he prepared. Then came an exciting football game that we watched in the pouring rain from the snug confines of the club level. Then came a holiday party where I introduced him to some of my friends and their spouses. Then came Thanksgiving where we were apart but connected through texts, and phone calls laced with missing you and can’t wait to see you’s throughout.
The Sunday after Thanksgiving we reunited for brunch and a catch up conversation talking about how we had missed each other during the holiday and how for Christmas we would have to figure it out better. After brunch, we went to a nursery to pick out my Christmas tree. Throughout we were kissing, hold hands and generally flaunting PDA’s. In fact, we were kissing so much that at one point and an employee walked by, rolled his eyes and said (loudly) to another employee, “well they don’t need to buy mistletoe!” It was funny and magical. We found the perfect tree and waited together as it was strapped to the top of the car. While we waited, he turned to me and asked if I had some cash so that I could give the young man who was helping us a tip. As it happened, I had only a large bill so he reached into his wallet and pulled out money for me to give the tip. How thoughtful was that? We took the tree to my house and he helped me put pick out a place for it and put it up. We cooked together and enjoyed a lovely dinner in front of the tree.
Less than 48 hours later, I received the following four text messages in rapid succession:
“In the interest of full disclosure I must share with you a recent change at my end.
Yesterday, I was called by an ex gf, seeking to reconnect after 9 years or so.
At the time we split we both had kids which caused the split. Now we’re both empty nesters.
I do not know where this will go, but must find out.”
Say whaaaaat? I was completely blindsided. What’s worse, when I tried to call him to discuss this shocking series of texts, he would not pick up the phone. It was infuriating. It was hurtful and it was oh so telling. I pride myself on being open and non-judgemental. How hard would it have been for him to have said this to me in person or even over the phone? Yup, blindsided at Christmas; a gift that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. My only consolation is that he did it a few months into the relationship instead of a few years.